Icha Icha Konoha
by Chaos-Paladin
Summary: Jiraiya completes the dirtiest Icha Icha Paradise known to man, but ends up losing it. Its power can corrupt even the purest of minds. How will Konoha survive this tragedy? NaruHina, NegiTen, SasuSaku, ShikaIno, and possibly more.
1. Enter Neji

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Hopefully, after my long awaited returned, i bring back some awesome goodness. Please enjoy this story and be sure to drop a review. There will be more awesomeness to come.

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On top of the Hokage rocks sat an elderly sage, whose reputation as a Sannin was known far and wide. This particular Sannin was writing in a thick book. One could only wonder what great words this sage was writing, using his gifted, infinitely wise mind.

"YES! My latest Icha Icha Paradise book is now complete!"

…It was never said this was the work of a pure mind…

Jiraiya, one of the three legendary Sannins, had been hard at work for weeks, finishing his latest novel. This was going to be the best work ever created. Now, all he needed was the opinion of some of the readers in his village. The problem was the powerful material he used. Those who had never delved into the world of _'maturity'_ might not be able to handle the majesty of Icha Icha Konoha, his latest book. _'Hmm…Perhaps I could get Kakashi to give me his thoughts. He's one with great taste.' _

He stood up, prepared to deliver his latest book, when a sudden gale wept through the area, lifting his book out of his hands. "Oh no, my masterpiece!" He could only watch in horror as his book start floating towards the village, ending up who knows where. "My god…if anyone finds that book…I must hurry and try to find it!" The toad sage started jumping down the Hokage rocks, rushing to save his book.

Meanwhile, within the Konoha training ground, a young Hyuuga Jounin sat cross-legged in the middle of the training ground's forest in deep meditation. There were no missions to go on, but much training to be accomplished. The area was very tranquil and relaxed, perfect for meditation. For Neji Hyuuga, this was the perfect mental training to handle any kind of danger he could face.

_SMACK!_

Except for the head-on collision of a hard object…

"Ow…what on earth…?" Neji's pearl gaze landed on the object that fell next to him, glaring at it. Where the book had fallen from he didn't know, but it did tug at his curiosity. Picking up the piece of literature, he began examining the cover. "Icha Icha Konoha by Jiraiya…not recommended for the weak of heart…hmph, how silly..." To Neji, this sounded more like a challenge than a warning. He never read any of Jiraiya's works before, but he had seen many other Jounins and senseis reading this book. Given it was written by Jiraiya, it must've held great words of wisdom. But he did get strange reactions whenever he would ask about it.

First was Kakashi. "Why it's a book about…highly advanced grappling techniques…so powerful that it shouldn't be used by anyone under the age of 18…"

Then he asked Asuma. "Err…it's a man's guide to a woman's heart…among many other places…"

The third was Shizune, who seemed very embarrassed about it. "I-I-I-It's human biology research! Highly restricted! Don't tell anyone, okay?"

This left Neji with an odd conclusion. "So it's a book about grappling…woman's heart…and advance biology? Ah, I see. It must involve special capture techniques best used against women. Huh, sounds interesting enough."

Neji's fate, however, was sealed the moment he opened the book.

After the first minute of reading, he grunted with annoyance. "It's just a story. At least it doesn't look too bad." And the young Hyuuga continued to read.

_The young and strong Nagi trained fiercely in the back of the woods, preparing for his next battles to come. Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder and jumped. He was surprised to see a beautiful diva behind him. "Menlen-chan, you scared me!"_

"_I'm sorry, Nagi-kun!" Menlen giggled. "How is your training coming along?"_

"_It's going very well. I've gotten a lot stronger, as well as developing many strong techniques."_

"_Oh, is that so?" The woman grinned lustfully as she started walking slowly towards Nagi. "May I train with you? I've got a few new moves of my own to show you."_

_Nagi, realizing the woman's intent, smirked with anticipation. "Is that so? In that case, let's get some physical exercise in there." Feeling their inner passions for each other flaring, the two rush at each other, embracing and kissing hungrily. The soon-to-be epic training exercise took them against a nearby by tree as they—_

_--"Oh Nagi-kun! Right there!" Menlen screamed as Nagi repeatedly—_

_--"Menlen-chan! It feels so good!" Nagi panted as Menlen—_

_--"Nagi-kun! Faster! Yes, like that!"—_

"_Oh Menlen-chan! Menle—_

_SLAM!_

The book was swiftly closed by a furiously blushing Neji, who breathed labored breaths. "By the gods...THIS is what they have been reading…?" His once pure mind, safe from poisonous thoughts, had suddenly been dirtied and penetrated beyond help.

Penetrated…

"My god, I can see it in my mind!" Clutching his head, he rammed into repeatedly into the ground, trying to give himself amnesia. Unfortunately, it was to no avail. "Wait, I must banish this…this…this evil book to the depths of hell! This is not a book meant for mortal minds…" The heated teen was about to hurl the book into the depths of the forest when he stopped in mid throw. A very, very small part of him did not want to throw away the book. "Dammit arm…throw…throw…!" No matter how hard he tried, he could not throw it away.

The oh-so-small part of him was too curious.

"God damn you Jiraiya! What kind of sick material is this?" After a moment of panic, he stopped himself, wearing a confident expression. "Hn, what am I getting worked up over? I'll just clear my mind and then destroy the contents after I'm done. Simple." Going into meditation mode, Neji sat on the grass and began to mediate. _'I must be one with the heavens and nature. Clear my thoughts of any impurities. I must be strong and sturdy like rock…powerful like a waterfall…calm like the waning moon…the moon…which has a smooth, round surface…round and soft…perky…juicy and succulent…and when you squeeze it…' _Neji's eyes snapped open, his face turning into deep shades of red. "W-WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM? Wait, calm down…calm down…I can't lose to something like…like this! Huh, come to think of it…Nagi and Menlen…that sounds uncannily similar to…to…" His face darkened with this sudden realization.

Neji and Tenten.

"_Oh Neji-kun! Right there!"_

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" Once again grabbing his head, Neji started rolling back and forth on the grass, trying desperately to shove out the disturbing images that were quickly embedding themselves into his mind.

"_Tenten-chan…you feel so good…!"_

"GAAAH!" His face completely red, Neji was unable to hold back the dirty thoughts that were invading what used to be a clean safe haven. He lay still on his side, trying to prevent the rush of blood from escaping his nose. _'This is getting ridiculous. I should not be thinking such things, like a naked Tenten giving me a lap dance…wait, how did THAT thought get in there! GOD DAMMIT!' _This was almost too much to bear. The only thing that could possibly make his dilemma more complicated was if—

"Hey Neji-kun, are you alright?"

"AH!" Neji quickly rolled onto his feet, moving away from the intruder. He couldn't hold back the shocked gaze he gave her. "T-T-Tenten!"

The said chuunin cocked her head to the side, giving Neji a questionable glance. "What's with you today? This is pretty strange behavior from you."

Taking a deep breath, Neji managed to regain his normal composure, but couldn't hide the deep blush on his face. "I was…in a deep trance and got startled."

Deep…

'_Dammit to hell! Stop that!'_ He chastised himself.

"Ah, okay. I thought it was pretty strange." Tenten giggled. It was amusing to find Neji caught off guard so badly. If only she could do it more often. "How is your training coming along?"

This took Neji's mind back to the first memorable line of the story he read. Needless to say, he was extremely flustered. He averted his gaze so Tenten couldn't see his _troubled_ glance. "It's…i-it's going well."

"Oh, is that so?" Tenten found it weird he was trying to hide his face. To the Hyuuga's surprise, she walked up to him and leaned over to get a glimpse of his face. "May I train with you? I've got a few new moves to show you."

Bringing his ever down-spiraling mind back to the dirty book, he was reminded of the line that meant a lot more than training. Startled by this, Neji stumbled back, almost falling. "W-w-what are you saying? Just what kind of girl are you?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Tenten demanded, glaring at the very 'active' Neji.

Neji froze in place, mentally slapping himself for his hasty thoughts. "No, I mean of course I would want to train. It's not _that_ kind of training, but just…training. Well…I would like a little of _that_ training-no, just training! Only training!" Neji was starting to feel stupider and stupider the more he thought about his odd answer.

"O…kay…I'll take it that you want to train then. Hm?" Tenten took notice of the book that was in Neji's hand. "What's with that book? It looks oddly familiar…"

Caught off guard, Neji quickly shoved the book inside his Hyuuga robe. He would never live it down if Tenten caught him reading such…filth. "What? No, it's not familiar! I was just learning about…about…uh…a-advanced grappling techniques…" Neji suddenly realized just how valid Kakashi's statement was.

"Ah, so that's what you've been up to. So, since you've been learning grapple techniques, would you like to practice on me?"

"GWAH!" Neji's jaw hung open, his face being enveloped in deep red. "Did…did you just ask me to…to…g-grapple you?"

"Well, yeah. I would like to see what you've learned."

"More than I've bargained for…" He mumbled to himself. Now, the obvious answer to this would be no, and for many reasons. One, it involved unmentionable instruments that should not be used in ANY training session. Secondly, he really didn't know any new grapple techniques. And third, it involved touching Tenten while under the influence of impure intentions. He was more than prepared to decline the embarrassing training exercise. "Sure, sounds like a good idea."

…That was NOT the answer he was looking for.

"Alright, let's get started." Tenten relaxed herself, standing still. "Show me what you've learned."

'_That's the problem entirely.'_ Neji got into battle position, unable to comprehend how this was going to end. Chances are, not well. "Byakugan!" Activating his bloodline limit, Neji kept a good focus on Tenten. Unfortunately, he underestimated the power of freshly tainted hormones as his eyes quickly focused on 'money shot' parts of Tenten's body. With the power of the Byakugan, he was able to see Tenten in a new light.

One that didn't involve any clothes.

Tenten couldn't help but shudder under Neji's stare. It felt like she was being glared at by a hungry tiger. "Um…Neji-kun? It's been 3 minutes. Think you can hurry up?"

This quickly brought Neji out of his naughty fantasy world. "R-right! Of course! L-let's get started."

Tenten was finding his behavior stranger and stranger. "Neji-kun, did you accidentally drink one of sensei's drinks again?"

"Of course not. I'm just focusing my Byakugan to see your finer points."

"Uh…don't you mean chakra points?"

"Ah, yeah, that's what I meant." How terrible of a person was he to think of his teammate in such a grotesque, horrifying, and amazingly sexy manner? …Perhaps he thought out that last one a bit too well, but his Byakugan was only making things worse. "As a matter of fact…no Byakugan today. It won't be necessary for this training exercise." It also accelerated his heart rate to amazing heights, but he decided to keep that small bit of info to himself.

"That's fine. Just show my your grappling technique already."

"Alright. Hmm…how did it go again?" That translated to _'How the hell can I get out of this one?' _Each time he tried to develop a grappling move on the fly, it often led to an entirely new level of the term 'throw down'. He couldn't help but be amazed how much that book has changed his perspective concerning Tenten. Rather than taking the fact she was his female companion as just that, he started noticing a few finer details about his faithful ally. Admittedly, he held a bit of interest in Tenten, but it wasn't anything he felt was worth pursuing. But now, it was as though his body and mind were making up for lost time, and doing damn well at it.

This…was not going to end well.

'_What's going on with him? I've never seen him with his guard this low before…guess I'll just take the initiative.'_ With a quick dash, Tenten dove at Neji with her fist raised. Without fail, Neji would normally dodge or parry her attack and counter with his Jyuken combos. It was practically routine.

However, Neji was far too occupied with his thoughts to even see it coming.

_SMACK!_

"GUH!" Taken by surprise, Neji was floored by the heavy-handed strike from Tenten.

"What the…?" Tenten was baffled with her preemptive strike. But more importantly, she didn't think it was THAT powerful of a hit. "Ah, Neji-kun! Are you alright?" She crouched at the base of Neji's feet to check on his condition.

'_Damn, I should've been paying more attention.'_ Neji growled lowly to himself. This was far beyond uncharacteristic for the Jounin. He glanced up at Tenten and was about to respond when his words got caught in his throat. From the angle she was crouching from, and the way the light hit her, it made the chuunin look extremely adorable.

"Come on, speak up. Are you okay?" Tenten asked again, worried for her teammate.

Neji had to look away, overwhelmed by Tenten's cute face. "I…I'm fine. Don't make such a worried face." Translation? _'Stop looking so damn cute!'_

"Well if you would stop acting so weird, I wouldn't be worried. Here, let me help you up." Extending her hand, Tenten grasp Neji's and started pulling him up.

Neji's cheeks gained extra color as he noticed how smooth Tenten's hands were. He curiously pondered if other parts of Tenten's body felt similar. _'Damn it!'_ The thought made him jerk his hand back.

Unfortunately, Tenten's grip was still tight. "Neji-kun, what are you—AHH!"

_CRASH!_

Neji's temperature shot through the roof as Tenten fell on top of him. A million thoughts a second went through his mind, making him want to do an innumerable amount of things. With the way her arms landed around his neck, how her legs were straddling his hips, and her mouth at the base of his neck, he wouldn't be surprised if he fainted right then and there. "Tenten, are you alright?" He couldn't help but feel incredible pleasure out of his scenario.

"Ugh…you gotta warn me before you do something like that…" Tenten's face was also burning brightly, feeling very comfortably on her Hyuuga mattress. Unfortunately, she knew he would be uncomfortable in this position, but that didn't mean she was going to get up quickly. Very slowly, she started pushing herself off Neji, using his lap as a seat. She couldn't help but notice Neji's bewildered expression, his face stark red. "Your face is incredibly red. Are you getting sick?"

That, Neji had to admit, was a very valid statement in itself. "Not…not really…"

Tenten placed her hand on Neji's neck to feel for his temperature. This did not help Neji at all. "But you feel incredibly hot."

"I said I'm not sick, so don't worry." Neji desperately wanted Tenten to get off his lap. His mental stability was already damaged enough from Icha Icha Konoha. He didn't need motivation for thinking those horrific thoughts. Things couldn't possibly be worse for him.

"Ah!" Tenten gasped, her face turning a dark red. There was a still silence as Neji wondered what was wrong. "U-um…N-Neji-kun?"

"Hn?"

"Um…y-your kunai is trying to get into my sheath…"

Neji's situation has hit a new plateau of awkward.

"Oh…uh…" Neji had no idea what to say to that, his mind going blank.

Tenten found this to be a great time to get off his lap. But as she did, she accidentally brushed against Neji's 'kunai'. This action forced Neji to cover his mouth for two reasons. One, he dared not to release the highly pleasured gasp he was about to make. Secondly, blood started slipping out from his nose. Feeling a strange awkwardness, Tenten gave Neji some space. "Um…are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah, give me a minute…" Turning away, Neji quickly wiped off the blood inside his robe, hoping it wouldn't show. After taking a deep breath, he felt it would be better to try and relieve this tension he had brought upon himself. "I would like to continue training if you're up for it…"

"Y-yeah, I'm still up for it." Even though Neji was still a growing teen, Tenten was still amazed that he had a perverted side. This made things a great deal more interesting. Without further mishaps, the two began their daily training together, though Neji was still traumatized and haunted with very mature-rated images.

A few hours later, Neji and Tenten's training finished, leaving the two feeling spent. Neji, for once, ever since discovering Jiraiya's book of terror, was maintaining calm thoughts. "I suppose we shall call it a day…" After all, he had more than enough excitement to last him a lifetime.

"I agree, though I can't help but feel something is different with your 64 palms combo today. My body feels like a pin cushion for some reason, especially my chest."

Well, so much for having a peace of mind. "I-It's your imagination."

"But Neji-kun, it doesn't really feel—"

"Just your imagination!"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" Tenten was definitely positive something was going on with him. Chances were he didn't want to share his thoughts on the matter. "A-anyway, I guess I'll get going. I'll see you lat—"

"Wait!" Neji held into Tenten's shoulder, preventing escape.

"What is it?"

'_Damn, why did I do that?'_ It was purely on instinct. Even he didn't realize why he stopped her from leaving.

Neji's heart began to race

'_My chest…!'_ His chest started feeling constricted, his heart beating erratically. Breathing was suddenly turning into a chore. _'What is this sensation…? I can hardly breathe!'_

"Neji-kun?" Tenten felt Neji's nervousness strongly. It was almost as if… _'No way…could it be that he's trying to…!'_

Neji's cheeks grew warm at the sight of Tenten's blush. It made his breathing even shallower. "Tenten…" What was he trying to say? He could barely control the words that were dying to come out. "I…what I'm trying to say is…"

"Neji-kun…" Tenten gently squeezed Neji's hand. "It's okay, take your time."

'_Dammit! I can't hold it any longer…!'_ No matter how hard he tried to hold it back, the words practically erupted out of his throat. "Tenten, to me you're—"

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

_WHAM!_

A flying kick torpedoed into Neji's face, sending him hurling into the bushes. Tenten stood there, speechless and dumbfounded. The offender laughed victoriously. "YES! I've mastered the art of Guy-sensei's Dynamic Entry! I've even caught Neji-kun off guard with it!"

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" Tenten yelled, pointing to the direction where Rock Lee launched Neji.

"Huh? Ah, Tenten-chan. What are you doing here?"

"THAT'S MY LINE!"

"Oh, well Guy-sensei just finished teaching me the Dynamic Entry technique, so I was hoping to find Neji-kun so I could try it out against him. I didn't think it would be so effective…"

"Neji-kun is going to KILL you!" Tenten feared for the idiotic taijutsu-user. Given Neji's temper when it came to Lee, she was afraid to be an eye witness to a murder.

"Lee…!" Neji emerged from the bushes, his disheveled bangs covering his eyes. Tenten quickly moved away from Lee, who she felt was going to get mauled.

"Neji-kun?" Lee had no idea what was going through Neji's mind as he walked up to the boy and firmly placed his hands onto his shoulders.

When Neji finally looked up at Lee, his expression was that of…gratitude?

"I am forever in your debt, Lee." Neji's high level of annoyance towards Lee countered the effect of Icha Icha Konoha, bringing him out of the trance he was in previously.

"Huh?" Both Lee and Tenten were confused with Neji's praise. It didn't help that he had a huge bruise on his face. Maybe there was some brain damage with that hit…

"Now, if you two will excuse me, I shall retire for the evening." Neji briskly left the training grounds, unable to look at Tenten eye-to-eye.

"Well, that was different. But, all's well that ends well, right Ten…ten?" Lee paled as Tenten glared at him with the intensity of a livid dragon.

"Lee-kuuuun…!"

"Uh….Tenten-chan? W-what's wrong? What are you going to do with that kuna—AAAAAAAAAH!"

Sometime later, at the Hyuuga mansion, Neji was finally able to take a sigh of relief. Thankfully, his horrible encounter with Tenten had ended without casualties. But still, his curiosity drew him to the Icha Icha Konoha book. As he started walking towards his room, he apprehensively started opening the book.

"Back already, Neji?"

'_Shoot!'_ With great speed, Neji hurled the book into the first open room he saw, just before Hiashi spotted him. "H-Hiashi-sama! Good day to you!"

The Hyuuga clan leader gave Neji a scrutinizing glance. "Hmmm…you look like you're hiding a dirty secret."

'_Urk! He's too damn perceptive!'_ Neji was sweating bullets at this point.

"Heh, don't look so serious. I'm kidding, Neji."

"Ah, right. Of course."

"I can see that you've been training steadily today. Keep it up."

"Yes, Hiashi-sama." Neji stood at attention as Hiashi walked by.

Neji released the breath he had been holding. "I've had enough insanity for today. I'm going to call it a night." The young Hyuuga entered his room, unbeknownst of yet another tragedy that was soon to take place.

Elsewhere, Hinata emerged out of the bathroom, wrapped in a white towel. "Ah, nothing like a good shower to get refreshed. Hm?" Glancing at her bed, she couldn't help but grow increasingly curious. "What is this book doing on my bed…?"


	2. Enter Hinata

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

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"This book was never there before." A towel-clad Hinata sat on her bed, examining the cover of the novel. "Icha Icha Konoha? Where have I heard such a name before?" She recalled seeing the other jounins reading similar books. They never told her what it was about, giving her strange, cryptic answers.

Anko's answer was strange, yet blunt. "To put it mildly, tips and tricks."

Genma had a wide grin on his face. "It's the best invention ever created. Don't tell Shizune."

And Kurenai seemed particularly embarrassed upon questioning. "Let's just say it's everything you would want to do with Naruto."

Though it was all very confusing answers, it was Kurenai's answer she was most interested in. She had dreamt endlessly about her favorite genin and the kinds of things they would do together. Well, it was more accurate to say _could_ do since they were not together. They were barely qualified to be considered acquaintances. There was the possibility of increasing her chances of getting his attention if she ever learned not to faint around him.

After changing into her white long-sleeved pajamas, she skimmed through a few pages, surprised that it was actually a series of short stories. She was about to put the book down when, for a moment, she noticed Naruto's name as well as her own. Surprised, she turned back to the page she skipped, learning that it was actually Hakuto and Rinata, not her beloved and herself. Half of her was relieved, the other half disappointed. She began reading, adding a bit of entertainment for herself by picturing the characters as her and Naruto. After all, Kurenai did say it involved things she wanted to do with Naruto. It couldn't be that bad, right?

_It was a peaceful night for the young and voluptuous Rinata who often spent her nights sitting on the park swings, enjoying the rush of air flowing through her fine blue hair. Here she would fantasize about her beloved and heroic Hakuto. For years she had longed to be held into his firm, yet gentle caress. "Oh Hakuto…" She murmured blissfully._

"_Rinata?"_

_Rinata flinched in surprise, the action causing her to fall back. However, the painful thud on the dirt never came. Opening her eyes, she found herself staring back into the beautiful blue that was Hakuto's eyes, who caught her in mid-fall._

"_You should be more careful. Can't have you falling for me now, can we?" Hakuto joked, helping her up with a brilliant smile on his face._

_Rinata felt her breath caught in her throat. "Um, y-yeah..." She laughed nervously, finding irony in his joke. A dark blush ran across her cheeks when she noticed he had yet to release his embrace, his eyes piercing intensely into hers. "Hakuto?"_

"_Rinata…" His eyes glimmered lustfully at her, his arms tightening around her. "I know this is sudden, but…I need you…"_

"_Yes Hakuto, anything for you my love." Their emotions rising to a peak, the two closed the distance with a passionate kiss as they began to discard each other's clothing. Hakuto lifted her by the waist as he rested her on the swing and began to—_

_-"Oh Hakuto! Right there! Yes! Yes!" She panted heavily as he—_

_-"You feel amazing!"Hakuto groaned as he thrust his—_

_-"Please, a little more! Don't stop"—_

_-"Rinata…! Rinata!"—_

"Hinata!"

The shock broke Hinata out of her intense reading, jumping back to the other side of the bed. She felt her heart almost jump out of her chest. "H-H-Hanabi!"

"I've been calling you for the last few minutes." Hanabi quirked an eyebrow upon sight of the object Hinata had unconsciously clutched to her chest. "What kind of book is that?"

"N-n-nothing important! W-w-what are you doing here?"

"I saw you in a trance and got curious. There's also that." Hanabi pointed out the small line of blood leaking from her nose.

'This is bad! If Hanabi finds out what I'm reading…' She had a hard enough time getting on her father's good side. The last thing she needed was for Hanabi to relay what she was reading to him. The need to escape was urgent. "Ah, i-it's nothing important. I'm going to get some fresh air. I'll see you later!" She quickly threw on a pair of sandals and retreated with her erotic novel before Hanabi had a chance to respond to her suspicious behavior.

Hinata strode away from the estate, blushing darkly. Just thinking about the book made her feel excited, yet dirty. Picturing herself and Naruto committing such acts fueled her repressed sexual tension, something she tried pushing out of her mind whenever she could. After reading that book, that fabric of innocence she held onto was replaced with naughty images and desires. Her once pure, maiden mentality was tainted. But even if it seemed wrong, it felt so right.

By the time Hinata broke out of her fantasizing stupor, she found herself outside the ninja academy. After a quick glance for witnesses, she grinned to herself as she took a seat on one of the swings nearby, eager to continue her fantastical adventures with Naruto.

"Hinata?"

The all-too-familiar voice shocked her immensely, causing her to fall back. The book flew out of her hands, going over the brick wall behind her. She almost crashed onto the ground when she felt arms wrap around her, stopping her fall. Her heart almost halted completely upon the sight of her savior, too speechless to speak.

"You should be more careful. Can't have you falling for me now, can we?" Naruto spoke jokingly.

Normally, Hinata would have fainted on the spot. However, her energized hormones combined with the realization that the book portrayed a similar scene kept her curious and anxious enough to counter her embarrassing, yet overwhelming fainting spells. "Uh…y-y-yeah…" It came out as more of a squeak than her actual voice, providing even more embarrassment. Her heart rate doubled when she caught the serious, yet passionate look in Naruto's expression.

"Hinata…" Lifting her up, Naruto softly gripped Hinata's shoulders, staring at her intently. Hinata was frozen on the spot, not sure what to make of the moment. "I know this is sudden, but…I need you…"

That was when Hinata's world stopped, her eyes growing wide. It was moments like this she had always desired, especially after reading Icha Icha Konoha. She did not expect Naruto to approach her so boldly, but she was not going to disagree. This was her chance, and she was not going to lose this once in a lifetime moment. "Y-y-yes Naruto. Anything for you my….my…m-my lo—"

"Awesome! Let's get started right away!"

"…Huh!?" Hinata was beyond stunned, unsure of how to approach his _eagerness_. Did this mean they would be together? Was he already willing to go to _that_ stage of a relationship so soon? Was this even normal? "I-I-I don't know if I'm ready…!"

"Come on, please! I really need you here! You're the best person I can ask for this!"

Her blush darkened to unhealthy levels of red, enveloping her body. "R-r-r-r-really? B-but it's so soon…I'm not prepared for this!"

"Please Hinata? I'll owe you big for this!"

Once Naruto flashed his pleading eyes at her, she could no longer disagree. After all, this was the same Naruto she had been chasing after for years. "B-but…won't someone see us?"

"Huh? Why would it matter if someone saw us?"

'Oh my…he's so bold!' She twiddled her fingers together nervously. "I-I-If it's you, then, it's o-okay. I-I won't mind. P-Please be gentle with me…" She closed her eyes in an attempt to keep composed, prepared to ascend into becoming a woman.

"Thank you so much! I've been looking everywhere for gama-chan!"

"…Eh?"

"Gama-chan, my wallet. I've been looking everywhere for it all day.

"…Oh." Disappointment clouded heavily over Hinata. A part of her was relieved that she needn't lose her innocence with so little preparation. But part of her was immensely disappointed. But seeing that she could make him happy with a small task was enough to make her smile. "Okay, let's look for Gama-chan." Activating her Byakugan, Hinata helped Naruto begin their search for the missing wallet.

Just as Neji did before her, Hinata had not realized the potency of her Byakugan after reading the novel; this lead to two major discoveries. Her first discovery was the location of Naruto's wallet: his coat pocket. Though she opened her mouth to relay her findings, her second discovery caused her words to get stuck in her throat. It was alarmingly apparent that Naruto was rich with another kind of resource, one that made her repeat a two word phrase continuously in her numbed brain. 'It's huge…!' The astounding sight that resided between Naruto's thighs was too much for Hinata's constitution, causing her to faint. But not without a smile on her face.

"…nata! Hinata! Wake up!"

"Uh…huh?" Vision returning to her, Hinata was shocked not only to find herself on the ground, but to see Naruto's worried face looming over hers. Her blush could not have grown any brighter. "What…happened?"

"I have no idea. You were mumbling something about big bulges and huge things when you fainted. What were you talking about?"

Hinata's expression changed to sheer shock and embarrassment at Naruto's words. There were two truths to that question, one of them she would take with her to the grave. "I-I-I meant your…um…wallet!" She pointed her shaky finger at the lump on Naruto's person, the one containing the wallet to be precise.

"My wallet?" His eyes followed Hinata's finger, and after a quick moment of searching, successfully pulled out the green frog wallet. His face was filled with elated relief. "I finally found gama-chan! Thanks a million, Hinata!" Leaping at the unsuspecting girl, Naruto gave her a tight hug that was almost overwhelming enough to cause a second fainting, but she was filled with too much happiness to let that happen. However, Hinata felt her thigh press against something that caused her great alarm; something that involved secondary lump.

Hinata froze on the spot. To move or not to move, that was the question. Normally, she would've either fainted or screamed in surprise. But she found that her heart rate increased drastically instead, and her arms acting on their own by wrapping tightly around Naruto. Her chest tightened along with her hands on Naruto's coat.

Even for someone as dense as Naruto, he could sense something was different. "H-Hinata?"

"Naruto…" Hinata's mind went blank, not knowing what she was going to do. Her body was wracked with anxiety, her breathing labored. She was no longer in control of her words. "For the longest time, I've always loved—"

"Did you find that damn wallet already, Naruto?"

The intruding voice broke through Hinata's trance, bringing her back to reality, one that involved her rubbing against Naruto's youth while clutching him tightly. She broke away from the boy hastily, attempting to regain her momentarily lost composure. The sight of the intruder was one that was an instant-killer to Naruto's good mood.

"What the hell are you doing here, Sasuke?"

Sasuke, who happened to be carrying bags of groceries, quirked an eyebrow at the lad. "Shopping. I like to think there's more to life than ramen shops after all."

Hinata was half relieved, half disappointed about the turn of events. Nonetheless, now was not the time for an impulsive confession. "I-I've have to go now. Glad I could help." She sprinted off before a confused Naruto could say more than a 'thank you'.

Naruto turned to glare at his rival. "I found my wallet, no thanks to you."

"Finally, i can stop listening to your insistent pestering." Annoyed at the mere sight of Naruto, Sasuke proceed to go around the school rather than walk past him, which served to infuriate Naruto even more. His life took a turn for the worse the moment he looked down and uttered the six words to seal his fate. "What is a book doing here?"


End file.
